I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
