I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
