babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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