I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
