Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
