So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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