What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
