I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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