help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
