How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize