my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
