Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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