she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
