Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
