I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
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