Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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