have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Do vagina's smell?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
