I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
