Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
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