so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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