Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
