3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
