Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
