But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
