his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
