the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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