That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
