Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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