What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
