She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
