Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
