somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
