Your mouth is God's brothel.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
