it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
