she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
