Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
