worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
