Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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