Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
