I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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