the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
