he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
