I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
