Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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