He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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