he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
