I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
