A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
