i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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