im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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