grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
