big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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