last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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