im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
