why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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