I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
