ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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