i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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