i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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