Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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