she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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